Home

 I say I miss home,

But do I really miss it? How can you miss something that you don't even know of? They said the wanderers have no home, But then what is that my heart longs for? I often look at the birds and wonder, They have the liberty to travel the world, Still, at the end of the day,

they come back to the nest. Where is my nest? Is it in the cup of coffee that my sister makes when my head is bursting with migraine? Or maybe, the reassurance that my father's voice holds. But then I look into my grandmother's eyes and see hope. Can that hope be my home? But nothing has ever felt more comforting than my mother's hugs, Maybe her embrace is where I belong? But isn't home supposed to be a place? I have lived in bits and pieces all across, Borrowed a part of my personality from every soul that had made me feel like I belonged. Often a misfit in the crowd But I know there's a place where I must belong, Someone's memory, Someone's thought, Or maybe just a nook gathered by the woods.

Shades of dark

I had it all,

and then nothing,

It slipped like sand in my hand

It felt good letting it flow through my fingers, But then it was lost Or I was? Or maybe I am. But if I am Then I don't ever want to be found They say there's a light at the end of the tunnel But my ghosts love the darkness I was asked to let go of my demons But I had them when I had no one How can I leave them? I can't be this selfish. They breed on my blood, But what's mine is yours, right? But I am not yours, My dreams are your nightmares, I let my ghosts play with them. I tried to run away, But my shadow followed me. They say you feel comfortable right before you're engulfed by it, And I'm loving it right now. You can't save the one who is falling in love with drowning. The swim tube they threw at me, I punctured it. Let me be free Right here, right now I'm free. No one knows how liberating it is to be devoid of emotions The darkness is not black It has a multitude of shades And I'm camouflaged in all of them.

Books and utopia

 Books mold you, they said,

But why no one told me how they haunt you? How do you stay up all night shaking and trembling? The characters die but their ghost outlive them all. They continue to grow, They grow inside you, Roots breeding through your lungs, Flowers blooming in your belly, Until you can't breathe anymore, And just before you choke to death They come with a dose of serotonin To you move to the haze. The haze where everything is alright Was this the place they talked about? It aches, But what is pleasure if not the sweetness of pain Right? I have lived enough, Is it enough of a reason to die? My mother warned me about it, But then why is she holding me tight, Saying it all will be alright? Then maybe this is not the place they were talking about. I was told not to run too far, So I dug a grave and jumped into it, Then why is no one planting hyacinth over it?